Mum’s the word
Since celebrating Mother’s Day this weekend, inevitably we’ve been thinking about our mums and how much they mean to us. If you’re lucky enough to have your mum share in your wedding plans and celebrations, there is much you can do to make her an integral part of the occasion. We have a few suggestions for how to make your mum feel special, appreciated and involved:
- Meet the family. Introduce your mum to your future mother-in-law. It’s an urban myth that there should be rivalry between the two – there’s no reason why they can’t get along and even become friends. They will both appreciate getting to know one another, and will help unite forces.
- Let her know you value her opinion. Although it is your wedding, your mum will have been dreaming about the day too. Choose an aspect of the wedding that you are fairly flexible on and let your mum (and future mother-in-law) offer their recommendations.
- The hen do. Be sure to invite her to any events you hold leading up to the wedding, such as the hen do. This says to her that you see her as an important member of the bridal party – and a friend, too. If you’re planning a big night out that your mum might not enjoy, plan an additional event like afternoon tea or a girly spa day that will be more her kind of thing.
- The dress. One of the most emotional pre-wedding events is shopping for the wedding dress. You’ll probably be itching to try on dresses the second you’re engaged, but try to wait until your mum can come with you. It’ll be a special moment when she sees you in a big white gown for the first time. Make it an occasion: set appointments with bridal boutiques and spend the day with your mum. After a few dresses, take a break to consider your options, and go out to lunch or for a glass of wine together.
Louise, our Weddings Business Manager, made sure her mum was there to help her choose her dress. “When I was looking for my wedding dress, my mum came with me to every appointment. I trust her advice completely and it was lovely to spend the time together in the run-up to the wedding.”
- Make reference to family traditions. Open some wine and pull out old albums, and prompt her to talk about her wedding day. There might be an aspect that you could incorporate into your day. It might be something small like adding her first dance song to the wedding playlist, or perhaps wearing a piece of jewellery she wore on her day. Ask her if she could contribute one of the elements to the “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue” tradition, allowing her to share a piece of herself with you on your wedding day.
- Give her a distinct role in the bridal party. If you want your mum to walk you down the aisle, give a special reading or speech at the wedding breakfast, then throw out the rule book and ask her. She might enjoy taking a more prominent role in the day. Alternatively you could ask her to be one of the witnesses as you sign the registry.
- Make her feel special on the day. Book hair and make-up for both of you in the morning. Leave a special note in her program or a special ‘Mother of the Bride’ reserved sign on the first pew.
- Get her a thank you gift. It’s important to make sure both sets of parents are thanked for all their help with your wedding in the groom’s speech. As you will most likely be giving gifts to other members of the wedding party at this point, make sure your mum’s gift is a special one by giving her something that’s uniquely for her. Choose something that evokes a special memory you share.
This is a wonderful time for you to bond with both mums, so remember to let them have some input and show them your appreciation. You will undoubtedly need their help with some aspects of the wedding planning, and for a shoulder to lean on when it all gets a bit overwhelming. As you will be surrounded by your friends and family throughout this time make sure you schedule some one-to-one time with your mum, so she knows she is important to you. Leave a comment below to let us know how your mum got involved with your big day.