being your guest

Your wedding wouldn’t be anything without guests, and an invitation is asking a lot of anyone: to give time, effort and money, in the form of gifts, outfits, accommodation, travel and childcare arrangements. The average guest in the UK spends over £400! The obligation is one that people accept happily, but don’t think that you’re doing them a favour…

Set an ideal number based on your wedding style, budget and location options. Add 10% to allow for people who are unable to come.

Make a series of lists: Call them ‘definitely’, ‘should invite’, ‘want to invite’, ‘only if there’s room’ and ‘no chance’ and put everyone in one of these lists. Consider every name in your address book, to avoid embarrassing realisations later. If you’re having a second batch of arrivals in the evening, dealing with the numbers is much easier. Put ‘gangs’ of friends or relatives together in one category.

When there are other hosts to the wedding (normally parents), the modern approaches are:

  • Split the invites three ways: 50% to the couple, 25% to each set of parents. Parents should be responsible for keeping their peers/ generation within their quota. Or
  • Allocate a batch of invites to each set of parents, dependent on contribution and involvement, financial or otherwise. Or
  • Explain to parents that a mixed-generation wedding was not what you imagined – and be prepared to surrender any cash. Or
  • Work together on choosing guests you’d like all like to be there

When you have distant relatives or old family friends that you’d rather not invite: If there are only one or two, consider giving in. If there are a lot and you’re under pressure, stand your ground. Argue that if they never make contact and didn’t even know you have a boyfriend/ girlfriend, you can be forgiven for not considering them a part of your life. If they’re keen on a family reunion, they can host one, can’t they?

When ex-partners are still on the scene: However relaxed you may be, ex-partners only have a place at a wedding when both parties are keen. If you have children with your ex-partner, and relationships are good (it does happen!), the other parent’s presence at the wedding can help the child.

When someone’s likely to be loud, drunk or embarrassing: If nothing will make them behave, then leave them off the guest list. A well-meaning chum – or relative – with a tendency to social faux pas is a different matter. They’ll be on their best behaviour, because they’ll know how important it is, and a subtly appointed ‘guardian’ should be able to keep them in check. In any case, you’ll be much too busy to notice exactly who’s doing what.

Featured Colourful Recycled Wedding Invitation by Artcadia Wedding Stationary.

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